Word Mixups

:)  Olivia had a really sore throat, so I took her to the doctor’s.  When the doctor was examining her, he said he was going to do a swab next.  Olivia asked “Mommy, what’s a slob?”

:)  Olivia was telling Rob how happy she was that she was okay after having fallen down the stairs.  I commented that after the last few mishaps, it almost makes me consider moving into a bungalow.  Olivia responded “Mommy, you can’t live in a Buffalo!”

:)  We were at a venue for Victoria’s third birthday party.  Rob was trying to get Victoria to turn around and look at me so I could take her picture with her cute little smock on.  She grabbed her bum and was trying to turn around.  As it occurred to Rob what she was actually doing, he laughed and said “No honey, I said look at your Mom, not your bum!”

:)  We were at my aunt’s house and her phone rang inside the house.  It was her brother in law Peter.  When she came back outside, she announced that it was Peter on the phone.  Victoria said “Someone peed on your phone?”  My aunt laughed and explained “No, Peter was on the phone.”  Victoria thought for a moment, and added “Peter peed on your phone?”

:)  As a precaution I always put both kids hair in pony tail braids during head lice season.  When the kids were home for Christmas break, I offered to leave their hair down for a change.  Olivia admired her long beautiful hair and went to show it off to Rob.  She exclaimed “Look Daddy!  We get to wear our hair down today!  We don’t have to worry about the head lights!”

Sisterly Love

:)  When I put the girls to bed every night, Olivia and Victoria typically give each other hugs and kisses.  For some reason,Victoria was resisting one night.  I intervened and said “Victoria, don’t you want Yaya to know you love her?”  She responded “NO!”

:)  Getting the girls ready for bed one night, Olivia wanted Victoria to kiss her good night.  Instead,Victoria decided to raspberry (spit) at her.  I picked her up and said “That’s not very nice; do you want another chance?”  She answered yes, so I asked her “Are you going to be nice or are you going to spit at her again?”  She answered “I want to spit at her.”

 :)  The girls tried ‘Snack Pack’ puddings for the first time.  Olivia loved it, and then when Victoria awoke up from her nap, she offered one to her.  She said “It’s okay if you don’t like it, I’ll just eat it for you.”

:)  At the dinner table one night, Olivia kept whining and complaining about various trivial things. Victoria came over to me and whispered in my ear with such seriousness “Mommy, Olivia is really grumpy.”

:)  Olivia was showing Victoria a picture of herself during summer school.  In the picture, Olivia is giving a creepy smile, showing only half her teeth. Victoria looked at Olivia in disgust, pointed at the picture and said “Was that your first time smiling?”

The Way Kids Think

:)  Olivia: “Mommy, I can’t remember Mrs. Bennett’s name (her teacher)…..oh wait.”

:)  I was setting the table for dinner and asked Victoria what she did with her milk.  She started looking under things and calling “Milk…milk…where are you????”

:)  Victoria approached me and smiled.  I smiled back and asked her for a hug.  She gave me one and asked “Okay, Mommy, can I have a cookie now?”

:)  Olivia called downstairs in tears “Mommy, Belle’s head came off!!”

  :)  I was vacuuming and Victoria began screaming to get my attention.  I turned the vacuum off and asked her what she needed.  She responded “Mommy, you vacuuming??”

:)  As the floor installers were hauling away our old carpet, Olivia said “That’s our old carpet; yeah, Mommy vacuumed it a lot.”

 :)  Olivia: “Mommy, I can’t remember Mrs. Bennett’s name (her teacher)…..oh wait.”

:)  I was setting the table for dinner and asked Victoria what she did with her milk.  She started looking under things and calling “Milk…milk…where are you????”

:)  Victoria approached me and smiled.  I smiled back and asked her for a hug.  She gave me one and asked “Okay, Mommy, can I have a cookie now?”

:)  Olivia called downstairs in tears “Mommy, Belle’s head came off!!”

  :)  I was vacuuming and Victoria began screaming to get my attention.  I turned the vacuum off and asked her what she needed.  She responded “Mommy, you vacuuming??”

:)  As the floor installers were hauling away our old carpet, Olivia said “That’s our old carpet; yeah, Mommy vacuumed it a lot.”

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Avoiding Self-Publishing Scams

Avoiding Self-Publishing Scams

Just When I Needed to Laugh

 

 Hide and Seek

 

 Victoria pulled her blanket over her feet and then pulled it away.  She looked at me and said “Mommy, feeties play hide and seek?”

 

I was playing hide and seek with Victoria.  She said it was my turn to hide, so I went to hide in the bedroom behind our entrance wall.  I told her I was ready for her to come find me and she answered “But Mommy, where are you hiding?” Then when it was my turn to hide again, she said “Mommy, can you go hide in your bed?”

 

Playing hide and seek at the bus stop; there was a big tree and the little tree there.  Victoria instructed me where I should go hide.  First she told me to go hide at the little tree, then it was my turn again and she said for me to go hide behind the big tree.  I said “It’s your turn, why don’t you go hide behind the big tree?”  She slowly approached it and then stopped and turned around and commented innocently “But Mommy, I’m kind of afraid of the big tree…”

 

Olivia:  “Daddy, let’s play hide and seek.”

Rob:  “Sure.”

Olivia:  “Okay, Daddy, I’m going to go hide behind the door.”

 

Heard while the girls played hide and seek….it was Victoria’s turn to count.  “1, 2, 3, 10….ready or not, here I come!!”


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Happy Tuesday!  Has anyone laughed today????  Here's some help!

“Hand Washing”

 We went camping once, and Olivia was so tired. I asked her to go wash her hands before dinner.  Five minutes later, I went to check on her.  She was standing by the sink, with one finger under the water.  I asked her what she was doing and she answered innocently “I don’t know…”.

“Backwards”

 On our way to the cottage, there was a big transport truck beside us going slightly faster than us.  Olivia asked me “Mommy, why are we going backwards?”

 “Put Me In My Place”

 Olivia had her favourite dress on.  Just as I was starting to prepare dinner, she announced that she needed to go pee and then changed her mind.  I suggested she go try because “we don’t want you to pee your pants."  She turned around, hands on hips, stern look on her face and said “You mean pee my DRESS Mommy!”

 “Popsicle”

 In the middle of a heat wave Olivia said breathlessly “Mommy, it’s hot, I better go straight home and have a popsicle!”

“Penny For Your Thoughts”

 Olivia was sitting with me at the dinner table eating her lunch and very seriously perusing her summer school handout.  I said to her “penny for your thoughts?”  She looked at me puzzled, and held out her hand…….

Did you laugh?  Which one did you like best?  Please feel free to give feedback.  If you have any funny or cute kid things to add, email me directly at rsappleyard@hotmail.com

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Thanks for visiting me today!  I hope you enjoyed!

Sandy Appleyard

Good Sunday morning all!  As promised, here are some more laughs for you to enjoy!!!

“Momma…..shower”

 Victoria had begun using two word sentences.  She started saying “Momma…..shower”.  So one day I was in the bathroom having a very long pee.  Olivia was in the hallway helping Victoria put on her shoes.  Victoria heard me peeing and said “Momma…..shower”.

 “Shouting”

 Olivia was shouting at me in frustration, so I said “stop shouting at me”, she retorted “Mommy, I’m not shouting, I’m yelling”, then she heard my giggle and told me to stop laughing at her.

 “Foot in Mom’s Mouth”

 After several attempts to get her to listen to me, I usually would tell Olivia to get over here or I will spank her bum (which it never comes to that).  Once I let it slip and instead I said “Olivia, get over here or I will smack your ass!” she yelled back “Mommy, don’t say ass!”

 “Broken ear”

 Olivia complained of a sore ear.  The next morning I asked her if she wanted to go to school.  She answered “But Mommy, I can’t go to school with a broken ear!”

 “Questions Only a Kid Would Ask”

 Olivia:  “Mommy, do your shoes light up, too?”

 “Foot In Mom’s Mouth”

 Whenever I’m having a bad day with the girls, I’ll say “You guys are making me nuts”.  Once, Olivia did not want me to say no to her, and when I did, she responded “Mommy, you’re giving me some nuts!”

If you have any funny or cute things to add, please email me directly at rsappleyard@hotmail.com
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