Word Mixups

:)  Olivia had a really sore throat, so I took her to the doctor’s.  When the doctor was examining her, he said he was going to do a swab next.  Olivia asked “Mommy, what’s a slob?”

:)  Olivia was telling Rob how happy she was that she was okay after having fallen down the stairs.  I commented that after the last few mishaps, it almost makes me consider moving into a bungalow.  Olivia responded “Mommy, you can’t live in a Buffalo!”

:)  We were at a venue for Victoria’s third birthday party.  Rob was trying to get Victoria to turn around and look at me so I could take her picture with her cute little smock on.  She grabbed her bum and was trying to turn around.  As it occurred to Rob what she was actually doing, he laughed and said “No honey, I said look at your Mom, not your bum!”

:)  We were at my aunt’s house and her phone rang inside the house.  It was her brother in law Peter.  When she came back outside, she announced that it was Peter on the phone.  Victoria said “Someone peed on your phone?”  My aunt laughed and explained “No, Peter was on the phone.”  Victoria thought for a moment, and added “Peter peed on your phone?”

:)  As a precaution I always put both kids hair in pony tail braids during head lice season.  When the kids were home for Christmas break, I offered to leave their hair down for a change.  Olivia admired her long beautiful hair and went to show it off to Rob.  She exclaimed “Look Daddy!  We get to wear our hair down today!  We don’t have to worry about the head lights!”

Sisterly Love

:)  When I put the girls to bed every night, Olivia and Victoria typically give each other hugs and kisses.  For some reason,Victoria was resisting one night.  I intervened and said “Victoria, don’t you want Yaya to know you love her?”  She responded “NO!”

:)  Getting the girls ready for bed one night, Olivia wanted Victoria to kiss her good night.  Instead,Victoria decided to raspberry (spit) at her.  I picked her up and said “That’s not very nice; do you want another chance?”  She answered yes, so I asked her “Are you going to be nice or are you going to spit at her again?”  She answered “I want to spit at her.”

 :)  The girls tried ‘Snack Pack’ puddings for the first time.  Olivia loved it, and then when Victoria awoke up from her nap, she offered one to her.  She said “It’s okay if you don’t like it, I’ll just eat it for you.”

:)  At the dinner table one night, Olivia kept whining and complaining about various trivial things. Victoria came over to me and whispered in my ear with such seriousness “Mommy, Olivia is really grumpy.”

:)  Olivia was showing Victoria a picture of herself during summer school.  In the picture, Olivia is giving a creepy smile, showing only half her teeth. Victoria looked at Olivia in disgust, pointed at the picture and said “Was that your first time smiling?”

The Way Kids Think

:)  Olivia: “Mommy, I can’t remember Mrs. Bennett’s name (her teacher)…..oh wait.”

:)  I was setting the table for dinner and asked Victoria what she did with her milk.  She started looking under things and calling “Milk…milk…where are you????”

:)  Victoria approached me and smiled.  I smiled back and asked her for a hug.  She gave me one and asked “Okay, Mommy, can I have a cookie now?”

:)  Olivia called downstairs in tears “Mommy, Belle’s head came off!!”

  :)  I was vacuuming and Victoria began screaming to get my attention.  I turned the vacuum off and asked her what she needed.  She responded “Mommy, you vacuuming??”

:)  As the floor installers were hauling away our old carpet, Olivia said “That’s our old carpet; yeah, Mommy vacuumed it a lot.”

 :)  Olivia: “Mommy, I can’t remember Mrs. Bennett’s name (her teacher)…..oh wait.”

:)  I was setting the table for dinner and asked Victoria what she did with her milk.  She started looking under things and calling “Milk…milk…where are you????”

:)  Victoria approached me and smiled.  I smiled back and asked her for a hug.  She gave me one and asked “Okay, Mommy, can I have a cookie now?”

:)  Olivia called downstairs in tears “Mommy, Belle’s head came off!!”

  :)  I was vacuuming and Victoria began screaming to get my attention.  I turned the vacuum off and asked her what she needed.  She responded “Mommy, you vacuuming??”

:)  As the floor installers were hauling away our old carpet, Olivia said “That’s our old carpet; yeah, Mommy vacuumed it a lot.”

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Avoiding Self-Publishing Scams

Avoiding Self-Publishing Scams

Just When I Needed to Laugh

 

 Hide and Seek

 

 Victoria pulled her blanket over her feet and then pulled it away.  She looked at me and said “Mommy, feeties play hide and seek?”

 

I was playing hide and seek with Victoria.  She said it was my turn to hide, so I went to hide in the bedroom behind our entrance wall.  I told her I was ready for her to come find me and she answered “But Mommy, where are you hiding?” Then when it was my turn to hide again, she said “Mommy, can you go hide in your bed?”

 

Playing hide and seek at the bus stop; there was a big tree and the little tree there.  Victoria instructed me where I should go hide.  First she told me to go hide at the little tree, then it was my turn again and she said for me to go hide behind the big tree.  I said “It’s your turn, why don’t you go hide behind the big tree?”  She slowly approached it and then stopped and turned around and commented innocently “But Mommy, I’m kind of afraid of the big tree…”

 

Olivia:  “Daddy, let’s play hide and seek.”

Rob:  “Sure.”

Olivia:  “Okay, Daddy, I’m going to go hide behind the door.”

 

Heard while the girls played hide and seek….it was Victoria’s turn to count.  “1, 2, 3, 10….ready or not, here I come!!”


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Happy Tuesday!  Has anyone laughed today????  Here's some help!

“Hand Washing”

 We went camping once, and Olivia was so tired. I asked her to go wash her hands before dinner.  Five minutes later, I went to check on her.  She was standing by the sink, with one finger under the water.  I asked her what she was doing and she answered innocently “I don’t know…”.

“Backwards”

 On our way to the cottage, there was a big transport truck beside us going slightly faster than us.  Olivia asked me “Mommy, why are we going backwards?”

 “Put Me In My Place”

 Olivia had her favourite dress on.  Just as I was starting to prepare dinner, she announced that she needed to go pee and then changed her mind.  I suggested she go try because “we don’t want you to pee your pants."  She turned around, hands on hips, stern look on her face and said “You mean pee my DRESS Mommy!”

 “Popsicle”

 In the middle of a heat wave Olivia said breathlessly “Mommy, it’s hot, I better go straight home and have a popsicle!”

“Penny For Your Thoughts”

 Olivia was sitting with me at the dinner table eating her lunch and very seriously perusing her summer school handout.  I said to her “penny for your thoughts?”  She looked at me puzzled, and held out her hand…….

Did you laugh?  Which one did you like best?  Please feel free to give feedback.  If you have any funny or cute kid things to add, email me directly at rsappleyard@hotmail.com

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Thanks for visiting me today!  I hope you enjoyed!

Sandy Appleyard

Good Sunday morning all!  As promised, here are some more laughs for you to enjoy!!!

“Momma…..shower”

 Victoria had begun using two word sentences.  She started saying “Momma…..shower”.  So one day I was in the bathroom having a very long pee.  Olivia was in the hallway helping Victoria put on her shoes.  Victoria heard me peeing and said “Momma…..shower”.

 “Shouting”

 Olivia was shouting at me in frustration, so I said “stop shouting at me”, she retorted “Mommy, I’m not shouting, I’m yelling”, then she heard my giggle and told me to stop laughing at her.

 “Foot in Mom’s Mouth”

 After several attempts to get her to listen to me, I usually would tell Olivia to get over here or I will spank her bum (which it never comes to that).  Once I let it slip and instead I said “Olivia, get over here or I will smack your ass!” she yelled back “Mommy, don’t say ass!”

 “Broken ear”

 Olivia complained of a sore ear.  The next morning I asked her if she wanted to go to school.  She answered “But Mommy, I can’t go to school with a broken ear!”

 “Questions Only a Kid Would Ask”

 Olivia:  “Mommy, do your shoes light up, too?”

 “Foot In Mom’s Mouth”

 Whenever I’m having a bad day with the girls, I’ll say “You guys are making me nuts”.  Once, Olivia did not want me to say no to her, and when I did, she responded “Mommy, you’re giving me some nuts!”

If you have any funny or cute things to add, please email me directly at rsappleyard@hotmail.com
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Good Wednesday morning all!  As promised, here is another edition of 'Laugh'.  I hope you all enjoy!!

“Tummy Ache”

 Olivia said she had a tummy ache. So I asked if she needed to poop or pee.  She said no but I encouraged her to go try.  She was in the bathroom less than ten seconds, opened the door and said with such delight “Mommy, I tooted!”.

“Put it in a sock!”

 I was having a tough time with Victoria and her incessant crying.  Under my breath I said “oh, put a sock in it”.  While I’m in the washroom, I heard Victoria crying and then Olivia blurted out “oh, Victoria, put it in a sock!”

“In the washroom”

 Rob asked Olivia if she went to the washroom.  Olivia answered yes, so he then asked her if she went poop and pee; she again answered yes.  He then asked her when she went and she answered “when I was in the bathroom, Daddy”.

 “The fruit cup”

 Olivia:  “Mommy, can I have another fruit cup?”

Me: “No, you just had one and lunch time is soon”.

Olivia: “Please, please with a cherry on top??”

Me: “Olivia, when Mommy says no, it means no”.

Olivia:  “Mommy, can you say yes?”

“Diaper Don’ts”

 I checked Victoria’s diaper and changed it based on the fact that there was definitely something in there.  Only to find out it was not poop but instead a blue crayon.

……………….

  asked Victoria today if she had a poopy bum.  She answered “no, no bum”.

 If you have any cute or funny things to add to my blog, please contact me directly at rsappleyard@hotmail.com

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Happy Saturday everyone!!  Here's something to help you enjoy your weekend!

“Snack Time”

 I was bringing Olivia home from school and asked her what she had for snack time.  She answered “bread and apple juice”.  I asked her what was on the bread and she answered “um….crumbs”.

“Baby Alive”

 The kids were opening up their Easter gifts and Olivia got Baby Alive.  Rob gave her the diaper and explained that it was for when she poops and pees.  Olivia said in disgust “I don’t want her to do that”.

 “Loblaws”

 Olivia asked me “Mommy, when are we going to blaw blaws?”  I looked at her, puzzled and then realized she was asking when are we going to Loblaws.

 “The Pee Store”

 We were on a long road trip and we were about to make a pit stop.  Rob first stopped for gas and while he was filling up, Olivia asked “Mommy, when are we going to the pee store?”

 “Milk?”

 Victoria climbed up on the table at lunch and tried to get my milk.  I said to her “no, that’s Mommy’s milk, where’s your milk?”  She looked down at my chest!

Did you laugh???

If you would like to add any funny kid things to my blog, email me at rsappleyard@hotmail.com

Have a great weekend!

Sandy Appleyard

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I hope you're all enjoying your Wednesday!  Here is some funny stuff to help you out.

“Meltdowns”

 Olivia was being difficult and I feared she was close to having a meltdown.  She started roughly grabbing and pulling down her earlobes until they were white with strain.  When I asked her to calm down, she started protesting “Mommy, but my ears hurt!”

“Two Second Rule”

 We were eating lunch and there was cucumber on the floor.  Olivia picked it up and said “oh, that’s dirty, here Victoria”, as she offered it to her sister to eat.

“Hat”

 Olivia was in the truck and realized she had no hat on.  She said “Mommy, you forgot to put my hat on….yeah, my hair is getting really cold”.

 “Singing”

 Olivia was rocking out in the back of the truck, making up her own song.  Lyrics included “Mommy helps me when I go poo…do do do do…”.

 “Big bum”

 Olivia strolled into the bathroom with me while I was on the toilet.  She went behind to try and flush for me and stopped, looked up at me, puzzled, she said “Mommy, you have a BIG BUM!”

If anybody has some funny or cute things to add to my blog, email me at rsappleyard@hotmail.com

I hope you enjoyed the laughs!

Sandy Appleyard

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Good Monday morning everyone!!!  Here's a funny way to start your week!!

“Baking”

 Olivia and I were doing some baking and she dropped some flour on the floor.  She said “Mommy, we better clean that up, or we will need a new kitchen”.

“Uncle Donald”

Heard in the truck on the ride home “Uncle Donald had a farm, ee ii ee ii oooo, and on his farm he had some cows….”.

“Teeth”

After viewing the hereditary space between her top front teeth, Olivia asked “Mommy, when will I grow a tooth there?”

“Colds”

Olivia had a bad cold and she said to me so solemnly in her little cold voice “Mommy, I have a sore cough”.

Have a great Monday!!

Sandy Appleyard

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Happy Thursday everyone!  If you're in the mood for a few laughs, I've got just the thing :)

“Vegetables”

Olivia:  “Mommy, you eat your vegetables, how come you’re not getting any bigger?”

“Christmas”

I bought one of those “Countdown to Christmas” chocolate calendars for Olivia, and I gave her the one chocolate to correspond with the day, the 24^th day before Christmas.  I explained to her that she can have one tomorrow.  I left her to go upstairs.  As I came back downstairs a little while later, she came running up to me with her face so bright and covered in chocolate.  I noticed there were about ten chocolates remaining in the calendar.  She enthusiastically screamed out “Mommy, look, I took out the chocolates all by myself!”

“Lunch”

Olivia:  “Mommy, today for lunch I want a cheese and meat sandwich….but no cheese”.

“Bigger”

I repeatedly complained about how heavy Olivia was getting and that I had trouble picking her up to put her in the truck.  She commented “Mommy, maybe when you get bigger, you can pick me up better!”

I hope you enjoyed!!!

Sandy Appleyard
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Good Monday morning all!!

Here are some funny things I felt like sharing with you today.  I hope you enjoy!

“Oh No!”

Victoria lifted up my shirt and poked my belly button.  Olivia piped up and said “Don’t,Victoria, someone might be in there!”

 “My Leg Came Out!”

Olivia screamed from the bathroom “Mommy, my leg came out!”, so I ran, freaking out….it turns out her pant leg was inside out.

“Hide and Seek”

Olivia:  “Daddy, let’s play hide and seek”. 

Rob: “Sure”.

Olivia:  “Okay, Daddy, I’m going to go hide behind the door”.

Have a great day!!

Sandy Appleyard

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Twitter: @sandyappleyard

rsappleyard@hotmail.com

Happy Wednesday!  I took the girls to Marineland this morning and I thought I'd share something cute they said as we drove into the parking lot.

Victoria:  "Wow, there's lots of cars here."

Olivia:  "That's because everyone loves Marineland!"

Here's more for your enjoyment:

“Voicing the Obvious”

As Victoria was screaming and crying, Olivia was trying to tell me something and I couldn’t hear her, so I kept saying “honey, I can’t hear you”.  When Victoria stopped crying, I then asked Olivia what she wanted to tell me.  She answered “Mommy, I wanted to tell you that Victoria is crying”.

“Where are You?”

We were trying to teach Olivia to recognize the places where we travel.  We asked her questions like:  “where are we?” and she would reply “at the grocery store”, or “at home”, or “where Mommy gets her back fixed”.  One day we were on a walk, Olivia was on her bike and Rob asked her “where are we Olivia?” she answered “Daddy, I’m right here!”

I hope that brightened your day!

Stay tuned for more laughs :)

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I hope you're all having a good Monday morning!  Here's a little something to make it lighter :)

“Arm Humper”

 Olivia was playing with her doctor set.  She approached me, put the blood pressure armband on me and said “see Mommy?  It’s an arm humper”. 

“Tummy Hurts”

Olivia said her tummy hurt, so I asked her what might make her feel better, she answered “my gingerbread cookie”.

“I want juice”

I asked Olivia if she wanted any more brothers or sisters, she answered decisively “Mommy, I want juice”.

Stay tuned for more later in the week.....

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Happy Thursday!  I hope you enjoyed my first blog; here is my second post!

“Marker Trouble”

Victoria was having a typical day where she was getting into everything.  Each time she would once again get into something else, I kept calling her a trouble maker.  As Olivia was trying to put away all her colouring books and crayons, Victoria continuously took them out of the box and threw them all over the floor again.  In frustration, Olivia shouted out “Victoria, you’re a marker trouble!”

 “Yesterday”

When Olivia awoke, I asked her if she had to go pee.  She answered “No Mommy, I went pee yesterday”.

“The Hand Store”

We went to the second hand store to buy the girls some much needed clothes. On the way to the store, Olivia asked “Mommy, where’s the hand store?”

 “All My Hands”

Olivia came out of the bathroom and said proudly “Mommy, I finished washing all my hands!”. 

Stay tuned for more laughs....:)

This is the first of many blogs to come about my children.  They have a unique way of making us laugh and I have compiled a diary of all the funny and endearing things they have said since they were born. 

Here is a small sample:

“Burgers”

I sneezed and asked Olivia to hurry and go get me a tissue; she exclaimed “Hurry!  Before the burgers get out!!”

“Break the water!”

I was bathing both Olivia and Victoria, and Victoria was splashing away in her tub. Olivia started screaming “Oh no Mommy!  Victoria is going to break the water!!”

 “In Her Cage”

 Victoria awoke in her crib and Olivia decided to go in her room and greet her.  Olivia came to me afterwards and said very sweetly “Mommy, Victoria smiled at me in her cage”.

Did you laugh????